July 6th, 2018 Love letter

July 6, 2018

Dearest Rachel,

I was asked to write you a letter to read on Trek and have several things I would like to share with you.

First, I want to share the joy that you have brought to me! I prayed for years for a little girl. I had two experiences in the temple regarding you. The first was a day I was in the temple praying and praying. I had two things on my heart. The first was to have a daughter. I had 4 sons and was desperate for a little girl. Not that I didn’t love every wonderful boy thing that my sons brought to my life because I did but I knew a girl would be different and bring me joy that was different. The second was to be a full time stay at home mom. As I was praying hard I felt someone sit down beside me- so much that I peeked to see if there was a dent in the chair next to me but there wasn’t. I heard a voice in my head say “Your petition has been granted”. I wasn’t sure what petition because I felt like there were 2 things I wanted with all my heart. Soon both were granted and I learned that I was having a girl. That was a truly happy day.

Second, I was in the temple pregnant with you and the person I was doing the work for told me that you were a valiant spirit and one of my best friends in the preexistence.

I want to tell you that as much as I hoped for a girl and thought she, an unknown daughter, would bring me joy. I have been surprised many times by the joy you have actually brought me. You are strong and powerful. I know sometimes I say that to you and maybe you roll your eyes because you think I am just saying things to encourage you but I mean it. I see you as a powerful force for good and happiness to those around you. I know you are a valiant disciple of Jesus Christ and that you have a powerful testimony that frightens evil. You are immoveable and steadfast in your path of righteousness and others are given courage from your example.  I have been encouraged many times from your strength.

I wanted to share my testimony I gained from trek 8 years ago. The fireside to announce the trek we sung “Come, come, ye saints” I was really touched by the message of hope in the words. But on day 2-3 after we had truly “walked and walked” like pioneer children and I was tired and discouraged I had a thought come into my head “All they had left was gratitude” I was learning that first hand. All my aches and pains and exhaustion had led me to a place of gratitude. I was grateful that the next step I could see didn’t have any juts and ridges to pull the cart through. I was grateful that I had a big dumb skirt to keep the sun off my legs. I was grateful for my children and my husband and Pioneers who didn’t stop when it was hard.

On the woman’s pull I was with Paul’s handcart. I was trying to help his “sister’s” and ma (Sister Jo Mills) push the cart. The boys in the family were walking beside us and frustrated by their inability to help. They were running ahead to move rocks out of our way and taking heavy things off the cart to carry (the water jug). It is a sweet memory of them wanting to help.

I wanted to end with 10 things I love about you,

11.  I am so proud of your resilience this year. It has been a challenging year for work, school, and socially. You have risen above each challenge and come out stronger and with a sweet smile on your face.

22.   I am grateful for your willingness to mother me when I am struggling. I am so grateful for your help in driving kids everywhere and running our errands when I am too tired after work.

33. I am so pleased with your desire to be in the temple and the many times you have helped me get there. I love the temple and am blessed so much each time I go. This quote from Pres. Nelson “My dear brothers and sisters I entreat you to make a sacrifice of time for the Lord by increasing the time you spend doing temple and family history work and then watch what happens. It is my testimony that when we show the Lord that we are serious about helping our ancestors, the heavens will open and we will receive all we need.”

44. I love hearing your testimony and love the times you have shared your inspiration in private with me.

55.  I am so impressed with your ability to overcome hurt feelings and pain that was caused by others and forgive so quickly and easily. I have seen you quickly turn around from anger and just let it go. I am inspired by your desire to serve and safely with better boundaries be around Audrey and your brothers.

66. You are beautiful. I have seen you grow in fashion and your own personal sense of beauty. I have loved your choices of modest clothing and your ability to do make up.

77. You have such a gift with art and have blessed me many times with your art work.

88.  I love your gift with words and hope you will continue to use your creativity to make things that exist only in your mind. I miss your stories and your passion for imagination.

99.  I am excited to see the many amazing things that will come to you as you finish up your senior year. I know you are going to continue to grow and develop and learn.

110.   I love you very much I could not have imagined how great it would be to have a daughter. It is better than I ever hoped.

Love you forever and ever,

Mom